“I meant to tell you the other day, your garden looks beautiful!”

This is what my mom said to me a few weeks ago. I laughed; she didn’t… Oh, she was serious!

Let me start by saying, I am slightly obsessed with having a magazine quality garden. The kind that you sip coffee or tea in. The kind you read the paper in. The kind that when you go out to pick ingredients for dinner, you don a floral printed sundress, a shade hat, and carry a wide woven basket with a checkered tea cloth draped over the side. You get the picture.

There are times in the year when I have that kind of garden. This is not one of those times.

In years past, I have experienced overwhelming gardener’s guilt. I start out in spring full of energy and ambition, and I tend to my garden regularly and joyfully. Then, as the season rolls on, I get busy, it gets hot, and when I am able to make time for the garden, I wilt. Pro tip- when you stand up from weeding a garden patch and you get light headed, it’s time to take a break.

I thought I was passed this! In fact, I was just bragging on myself, literally a week before I laughed my mom in the face at her compliment. I said, and I quote, “I used to get massive guilt trips when I let my garden go a little towards the end of the season. But I want to enjoy my garden, not be stressed out by it. So I had to let go of that self induced pressure and accept that my garden will not always look perfect.”

Wow…Contradict yourself much?

So I quieted that little nagging voice. The one that says “not good enough”. And I went outside to see what my mom had seen.

When pressed for details, one of the things that struck my mother was that the grass had remained in check. There is some grass in there, and plenty of weeds, but she was right, the grass had not gotten too tall. This is by design. I installed flat rocks in the walking paths, and I amend the soil with organic compost and mulch a couple of times a year. Apparently, even with my recent neglect, this is working! The main obstruction in the walking paths is marigolds, which grow like weeds, but the pop of color is certainly welcome. And I have long since stopped avoiding walking on them (there is really no choice anymore) so when I do clomp right through them, they release their pest deterring aroma, and I tell myself I am helping!

Maybe next year will be better. At the height of this year’s gardening season our dog had a medical emergency. While on a beach vacation, her stomach twisted, prompting an emergency vet visit that ended in surgery. I am happy to report that she made a full recovery! But obviously, she was our main focus at the time and took a lot of attention away from other areas of our life. By the time I emerged from the shock and trauma of it all, it was late July, hot and humid, and the garden was already showing the signs of neglect. I did a little here and there, but it felt like a lost cause. And there it was. The guilt.

I was surprised by what I saw when I looked past all the chores I needed to do. The garden was beautiful. There were blooms everywhere. A few forgotten bell peppers held the promise of Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. Basil plants hid seedlings in the cool soil surrounding their disheveled crowns. The pole beans were tangled in the rosemary bush. I put aside for a moment my need to fix, and I enjoyed the twists and turns of the vine mingling with the purple blooms of the rosemary bush. It was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. There was even beauty to be found in some of the nuisance plants, blurring the line between weed and wildflower.

I was excited to see my salvia, which hadn’t bloomed all year, also joined the party! Today, I encourage you to join the party. Let go and enjoy the moment. Sip coffee or tea in your garden even when it does need a little work. (Because let’s face it, they always need a little work). Observe the way nature takes over, the ways vines reach for anything strong, the way flowers spill into walkways, the way lettuce will bolt and reseed for sheer survival.

Besides, I can’t help but think, just off camera, in every one of those gardening magazines, there is a pile of freshly pulled weeds and a wheelbarrow full of mulch, perhaps even some hired help. And this spring, when I am showing off my garden, full of promise, you will already know that is the case! Well, minus the hired help.

We love to hear from you! How do you stay motivated to upkeep your garden all year? Do you ever feel gardener’s guilt, and if so, how do you get past it?